When I was younger I always wanted to fit in. I never wanted to be different or stand out in the crowd. I always played it safe and tried my hardest to just blend in. But I was different. I had an opinion about everything. I always wanted to know why and how. But that wasn't allowed in my culture. In my culture, girls were modest and covered their heads. They didn't jump from monkey bars or play football with the boys. Girls didn't eat from big plates or sit with their legs open. In my culture, girls were seen but not heard. But I knew I was different because I wanted nothing more than to be heard. So I did what I learned was best. I ate and ate and ate till my opinions were shoved way down inside. I smothered my words and feelings with chocolate and cake and candy and anything that I could eat quick and fast.
So it makes a lot of sense now that I am 33 years old and still fantasizing about that book I've dreamt of writing. I question who will read it? What my family will think? How will I be perceived? All the while never even begging the first sentence. But tonight, thanks to that awesome Netflix mini movie 'The Incredible Jessica James'. That I realized……how amazing my thoughts and words and feelings are. How I just have a way with words when I talk. I am amazing and talented and quirky and lovable and weird. So what! I am me. I am my story and my words. Nobody can dictate that…..so why do I let them. Here is to me letting my words out from my internal prison. May they never stop flowing. May I always lead with my words and thoughts and never with what others want to hear.