When words are all I have….

It’s been a while since I posted on here. I have been trying to find myself and live in the moment. Trying to self heal and love within, is a long and unfinished journey, but everyday I get a little better at it. Everyday, I find the smallest of happiness in me and not in food or others. I’m one of those people who get inspired and moved by reality and fiction. I was watching a movie in bed this morning…..and one of the main charachters was talking about how they have yet to find someone who truly just loved them. To experience love that was unconditional, innocent and pure that it didn’t matter if you were awake or sleep that you could just feel it around you and in you. Love so pure that it cushioned you and protected you from all other unwanted feelings. I realize that yes as wonderful and difficult my parents have been. I have never once experienced this. I have on the other hand experienced a love based on condition, on temporary gains and all other superficial stuff. Being 32 and I don’t think I’ve loved or loved like that. But I’m still standing and today is a new day. Today could be that day…..this is how all my days lately have been starting of. I wake up excited by the endless possibilities this wonderful day can bring to me. I no longer choose to think about tomorrow or the day before instead…..I pretend that I don’t get a fast forward or rewind button. I wake up just in life mode. The moment right here right now and you know what……this isn’t all that bad. This is so simple and happy and today love is happening and bubbling all over.

G.

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