Oh life 

I woke up this morning and noticed my car was leaking oil all over my drive way and then my check engine light came on. This is the last thing I needed this week. I guess The universe is handing out curve balls. Here is life testing me once again.

This happened after last night I realized I needed to go back to my therapist. I needed to get this Demond from controlling my life. Just thinking about them has me crying. I can’t continue to keep hiding from them or letting them control me.

I’m not one to question why things happen as I truly do believe every thing happened for a reason. But what reason could there possibly be to let a child get hurt. I don’t understand it and I always use food to shutdown this feelings and thoughts and questions. But I refuse to do that today, so instead I sit here crying for the childhood I lost and the last 20 years I spent eating my feelings away.

We shal see how the rest of the day pans out after this episode. Sometimes I wish I was brave enough to reach out to a friend or a family member, but these baby steps is all I can manage right now. The fact that I didn’t go out and by a Coke and bag full of sugary crap is a blessing on its own.

G

Advertisements

2 comments

  1. PattiP0414 · February 5, 2016

    Baby steps . . . Putting one foot in front of the other is how all things begin. You are recognizing what you need to do to get YOU back.

    Congratulations on avoiding the Coke and bag of sugary crap! That is most definitely a WIN!

    I came across this motivational quote as I was looking for weight loss motivational sayings/quotes: “Look BACK and Get Experience! Look FORWARD and See Hope! Look AROUND and Find Reality! Look WITHIN and Find Yourself!”

    Stay positive. Your baby steps WILL pay off! Believe in yourself! You CAN do this!

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s