Sunday morning

I’m killing myself with food and I don’t know how to stop. I have gotten help before but it never works out for me. I can’t seem to find the parts I need to click in my brain to wake up from this food coma I’m in. I actually think it’s an obsession with food. The first thing on my mind when I wake up is food and then all day everything else is around food. I don’t know how I got here, the past 7 months have been a lot worse. I’m 286lbs!!!!! A year ago I was 250! And 5 months before that I was 225lbs! I’m miserable! I fantasize about weight loss surgery but that won’t fix me! It’s a mental thing for me. I need to bring these Demond’s of mine to light and only then can I tackle the negative self talk and finally get rid of this weight! I’m now starting to see I don’t really love myself. Would someone who loved themselves consume 4000 calories a day?! Im fat and alone and I can do a fantastic job hiding it all with a smile and everyone is none the wiser. I’m waiting for something……something significant to hit me and shake me out of this daze. I can’t continue to wake up with body aches and feel numb. I’m just going through the motions of life, I don’t know the last time I was actually awake and present for my life. I need help…..I need to wake up…..but it’s so hard!

Advertisements

3 comments

  1. Valerie Rosselli · January 17, 2016

    Your not alone in this. I had something go on with
    Me with food as well as working out it was way too much too obsessive and I finally am on the right track. I found one friend I can talk to I write and I also wrote a blog about my feelings. You really have to dig deep within yourself and find the root cause that’s what I did. It isn’t easy it’s something that will take time but it’s worth it in the end. If you need to talk (I know you don’t know me) but let me know. Hang in there.

    Liked by 1 person

    • sassygabar · January 17, 2016

      Thank you for the advice! I used to journal and that helped a lot. I just need to get back to that and yes talk to people about my struggle instead of keeping it all in and eating away my feelings.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Valerie Rosselli · January 17, 2016

        Yes!! And your welcome 🙂

        Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s