On edge

  Yesterday i just went from bad to worse. Lately I have been dealing with extreme cases of anxiety. The episodes I had yesterday left me in tears and feeling jittery. It was like a snowball effect, everything just added to my anxiety attack. I couldn’t concentrate, I was either on the verge of tears or balling in the bathroom. It didn’t help that I already had a large coffee and was slowly sipping on a large Coke. I immediately threw away my Coke and started to sip water. It just felt like all my worrying yesterday had put me in this box. Like nothing was going to get better and everything would just go downhill like I thought. That’s until I started to read about how to control my anxiety. I tried to stay in the moment but it was hard to get there at first. Then I came across this blog Jenny Lawson wrote about how she was done with letting her mental illness control her life and was going to live ‘Furiously happy’ just to be spite full. It wasn’t until I left work and was listening to her audiobook that I actually started to feel better. Sometimes all I need is a little reminder that all this worrying and what if’s are not helping. I can’t make this changes in life effective immediately and I sure as hell cant loose all this weight right this very second, but I could change my mood and how I approach each day. Today I choose to be furiously happy regardless of anything else. Let’s how today pans out with this view.

G.

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