Another low moment

Have you ever felt that you were useless or that your limps and your thoughts were betraying you. When I’m not in this slump, I feel hopeful like I can do better and try harder at achieving my goals and my happiness. But right now I just see my mistakes and my short comings. I see the self judgement and the damage I do to myself on the scale. My thoughts tell me that this pretty face is nothing without a body and life to match it. I see why men don’t take me seriously because I have no passion for myself so I must be needy or they see me us someone they can’t be seen with. I see how vain I am and how I just think that my problems would go away if I was skinnier. That if I put more effort into mylife I would make something of myself instead of this loner. But I can’t seem to shake the ghost of my youth. I can’t seem to hide them no matter how far I come or how much I shove them down. This facade I put on everyday, trying to be perceived as this happy and carefree girl does nothing for me when I’m a lone with my thoughts. How can I change if I don’t have the will power to do so?

G.

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