I have fantasizes about this moment for quite sometime. From the very 1st time we broke up, to the next time we stopped talking, I have thought about him reaching out to me. I don’t know why, perhaps it was more for my insecure side. For away for me to finally feel like I actually meant something to him.
I did not expect to get a message from him today, it was the last thing I actually would have figured I would see on my phone. The minute I saw it….I had all these feelings flood me. From excitement, to anger and confusion. I don’t know how to separate them or how to feel at this moment. I actually didn’t want to text back. I wanted it to be enough that he reached out, but the curious side of me wanted to know what he wanted.
He said he was sorry ‘how things ended’ that he wanted to talk in person and would I be free to grab coffee tonight. I was actually free but I couldn’t see him tonight, not before I first try to wrap my head around him reaching out to me out of the blue. I haven’t talked to him for a good 6 months. I haven’t seen him for almost 7 months and now I’m supposed to just grab coffee with him. I don’t really know who he is anymore, I feel like he is this distant memory. The guy I fell hard and fast for is just now a shell of this one.
I told him I have some free time Monday and he said he was free to meet me anytime and anywhere. Why is he so eager?? Why now?? Why am I experiencing all these feelings all at once.
I need a long bath and some room to think. Is it worth even seeing him again? What does he want?
So many questions running through my head.