So October is here and I woke up feeling hopeful and full of promise of what this beautiful month will bring me. Then somehow a friend asked me whether my ex reached out to me, and then knot in my stomach appeared out of nowhere. I know they say it takes a while to get over someone who you spent every day talking to but i want this knot to be forever gone.
I broke up with him, I put myself in this position and looking back I made the best choice. However, i still miss him. You build a friendship outside of the relationship and even though he wasn’t great at being a boyfriend, he was an amazing friend. But were both hurt in the break up and now the friendship is off the table.
He really doesn’t need a girl who’s just a friend because he has Idil. She is the friend no other girl can hold a candle to. Their friendship is the sole reason why we broke up. Now looking back at our relationship, i realized he had two girlfriends. Me, the girlfriend who was affectionate, passionate and he was able to cuddle up on the couch and bring him excitement and her. She was always there whenever i was busy to call up for dinner or check out furniture with or go grab some ice-cream with. He never went without either one of us. He had the best of both worlds.
I wasnt threatened by their relationship and it didn’t help he told me he broke up with girlfriends because of her. I just wasn’t ok with him splitting his emotional needs between two women. What i know for sure is that it was easier for him to accept my breakup because she was going to be there to pick up the pieces. I don’t dislike Idil, matter of fact i never met her and considering we dated for quite sometime you would think the two most important women in his life would meet.
I learned a valuable lesson through this……..It is never ok for your man to have another woman. Wether it be emotional or physical. If he’s not yours 100% then you can never compensate for what he is seeking in someone else. Wether they will ever be something is not guaranteed, he’s too afraid of what others think of him and she is contempt on just being in his life.
Where does the line in male/female friendship end and relationship begins is one that is often very blurred.
Till Love finds me,