My rock bottom

So how do you know you have reached rock bottom. How do you know how emotionally low you can go? Well I’m pretty sure i have reached my emotional rock bottom.

That moment I stood there and realized……hot damn this dude really doesn’t give a whole lot of shit. You know how your mind tricks you into believing there is hope and there actually isn’t. Well friends, I have realized this the hard way this past week. Honestly it feels like I’m on a diet without any of the asses pressure of what I can and cannot eat.

Of Course once I was able to wrap my head around how little I mean to him, I texted my therapist for a session. Only she can sit there and listen to me unfazed and without judgement. I couldn’t do that to my friends, they would see me as weak and I’m the tough girl who isn’t emotional in their eyes.

So I plugged in my audio book and weeped my heart out. I prayed a silent prayer with each sob that I get over him quickly and without an incident. Trust me when I say this, the levels to this man had me ignore all my intuition and I’m still morning him even after knowing deep down I got out lucky.

Love is complex and fifty layers of unpredictable. I gave it my all and I still got burned. Now it’s time to pick up the pieces and move the hell on. Nobody has time to schedule a breakdown. I sure as hell don’t. So this is my therapy along with a paid licensed therapist. I should be ok in no time.

Until tomorrow,
G.

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